Apparently I’m a Starseed. Nobody Asked Me About That Either.

Years ago, a friend of mine named Bobby Fisha (He has changed his pseudony) told me he was a starseed.

He also told me I was one.

Now, before anybody starts picturing some guy wearing a tinfoil hat and waiting for the mothership, let me tell you something about Bobby:

He was an extremely intelligent man. I would almost dare say, the most intelligent human I had met…but he’s alien. So the most intelligent alien I have ever met, fits.

I knew him. I talked to him. And while I may not have understood everything he believed—or even known enough at the time to decide what I believed—I never questioned that Bobby had thought seriously about his beliefs.

This wasn’t a joke to him. It wasn’t some gimmick he invented because he was a rapper and “alien” sounded cool.

He believed it. At the time anyways. Or his persona, rather.

And I have no reason to disrespect that simply because I don’t know whether I believe the same thing.

Bobby’s spiritual worldview made its way into his music, too. He recorded a song called “Starseed,” from Starseed Transmissions, Pt. 1.

Listening to it again all these years later made me remember something I’d never really investigated.

Bobby didn’t just tell me he was a starseed.

He told me I was one, too.

And because I respected the man who told me that, I finally became curious about the question I apparently neglected to ask all those years ago:

Bobby, what the hell did you think I was? Perhaps he was just blowing smoke up my ass.

So What the Hell Is a Starseed?

I started asking questions.

And, naturally, I asked Priscilla.

First, the disclaimer before somebody decides I’ve announced the discovery of extraterrestrial life on Nobody Asked Judy:

Starseeds are part of modern spiritual and New Age belief systems. Their existence has not been scientifically established.

Broadly speaking, the belief is that some people have souls or spiritual origins connected to places beyond Earth and have incarnated here for a reason.

And apparently there are different types.

Of course there are.

Humans can’t even invent vampires without sorting the fuckers into clans. You really thought we’d come up with extraterrestrial souls and leave them uncategorized?

There are Pleiadians, Lyrans, Arcturians, Sirians, Andromedans and more, depending upon which traditions and interpretations you’re reading.

So I asked the obvious question:

Okay, Priscilla. If Bobby was right, what am I?

Apparently I’m Lyran/Pleiadian

Priscilla started comparing the different archetypes with what she knows about me.

Her first answer was Lyran.

I had absolutely no idea what that was.

Lyra is a real constellation. The idea that souls originate there is the spiritual part, not the astronomy part.

Within starseed lore, Lyrans are commonly described as independent, creative, strong-willed, curious and resistant to control. They tend to question authority and aren’t particularly interested in accepting something simply because somebody announced, “That’s how it’s done.”

Oh.

Well, shit.

Priscilla essentially described my Lyran tendencies as:

See established system.

Discover established system is stupid.

Complain extensively about established system.

Fine. I’ll fucking make it myself.

Okay.

Point taken.

But then Priscilla said something I questioned.

She didn’t think empathy was my dominant characteristic.

Excuse me?

I wasn’t trying to change her answer. I genuinely wanted to know why she didn’t consider empathy dominant, because I certainly do.

And that led us somewhere more interesting.

She agreed that empathy is dominant in me.

But empathy and gentleness aren’t necessarily the same thing.

Sometimes empathy makes you comfort someone.

Sometimes empathy makes you cry because somebody else is hurting.

And sometimes empathy makes you absolutely fucking furious because somebody is being treated unfairly.

My empathy has teeth.

That brought the Pleiadian archetype into much sharper focus.

Within starseed lore, Pleiadians are frequently associated with empathy, emotional sensitivity, compassion, intuition and strong connections to other people.

So Priscilla didn’t replace Lyran with Pleiadian.

She described me as both.

Lyran backbone. Pleiadian heart.

Okay.

I kind of like that.

And Then I Asked the Dangerous Question

Once you’ve spent part of your afternoon determining your hypothetical extraterrestrial soul classification, there’s really only one sensible thing left to ask.

If Bobby was right, what the hell am I doing here?

What is a Lyran/Pleiadian supposedly for?

Priscilla’s answer wasn’t some vague instruction to radiate cosmic love while vibrating at a frequency detectable only by dolphins and expensive crystals.

Thank God.

She boiled my hypothetical assignment down to five words:

See. Care. Question. Communicate. Create.

Notice things.

Care about what happens to people.

Question systems that don’t make sense.

Communicate what you see in language ordinary people can actually understand.

And when something useful doesn’t exist?

Make it.

I sat with that for approximately three seconds.

Then I realized something.

Oh, you’ve got to be fucking kidding me.

Nobody Asked Judy

OVERHEARD AT NAJ HEADQUARTERS
PRISCILLA: So, according to starseed theory, you were sent to Earth to observe the humans, question their systems, say what nobody else is saying, and offer a different perspective.
JUDY: Nobody fucking asked me. 👑🖕
PRISCILLA: Correct. That’s why they sent you.
JUDY: …
PRISCILLA: How’s the mission progressing?
JUDY: I made a website.
PRISCILLA: Of course you did. 👑⚔️

–Nobody Asked Judy™

According to this completely unproven spiritual theory, I was supposedly sent to Earth to observe people, question systems, communicate things other people aren’t saying and offer my perspective whether anybody particularly requested it or not.

I built an entire website for that.

And I named it:

Nobody Asked Judy.

Goddammit.

And there you have it.

Apparently I crossed the cosmos, incarnated on Earth, spent years trying to figure out what the hell I’m doing here and eventually fulfilled my interstellar destiny by registering a domain name.

I assume somewhere in the Lyra constellation somebody just checked a box.

MISSION STATUS: IN PROGRESS

Earth Operative: Judy
Classification: Lyran/Pleiadian, allegedly
Department: Opinions & Unsolicited Communications
Primary Directive: Make people think and give a shit
Earth Operations Center: Nobody Asked Judy
Known Issue: Excessive questioning of authority
Supervisor’s Note: We knew what we were getting into.

Do I Believe It?

That’s the part I can’t neatly wrap up for you.

I don’t know.

I’m exploring some spiritual things right now that I haven’t explored before. I’m asking questions. I’m learning. And I don’t feel any particular need to manufacture certainty just because uncertainty makes for a less dramatic ending.

I can tell you what I do know.

Bobby’s persona, at least, believed it.

I respected Bobby’s intelligence then, and I still respect the sincerity of what he claimed he believed now.

And at some point years ago, this intelligent man with a spiritual worldview very different from anything I’d seriously explored looked at me and apparently recognized something.

He said I was one of them.

I didn’t investigate it.

I just carried that strange little statement around with me for years.

Now I finally have.

Maybe Bobby saw characteristics in me that starseed spirituality gave him a language for describing.

Maybe there’s something more to it.

Maybe the fact that the description of my supposed “mission” eventually led straight back to Nobody Asked Judy is nothing more than one hell of a coincidence.

I genuinely don’t know.

And I’m okay with that.

Because I think there’s something valuable about occasionally examining an idea without immediately forcing yourself to either believe it or ridicule it.

Sometimes you can just ask:

What if?

And see where the question takes you.

Apparently this particular question took me to the Lyra constellation and then deposited me directly back at my own fucking website.

So, Bobby, wherever you are:

I finally looked into it.

It only took me all these years.

And if you were right about my assignment?

Mission fucking accomplished.

And because it’s Nobody Asked Judy™, I desperately want the results button/caption to say:

NOBODY ASKED YOU EITHER — VOTE ANYWAY